My semester of teaching is over and I'm...underwhelmed? It's not like I was expecting a party at the end of the semester, but a "goodbye" email from the chair would have been nice. I don't even need a "thank you," just some recognition that I was there and now I won't be would have been nice. Heck, even just the letter of reference he promised would have been fantastic. Instead, I had to email him to remind him about the letter and to let him know that I'd arrange with a prof teaching summer classes to drop my keys off to her one day this week, since no one was there to give my keys to Friday. What an end.
It would be different if I was a large school and just a face in the crowd. The department has three full-time professors and four adjuncts, one of whom is supposed to be a full-time professor in the fall, if everything works as promised. So...really? Nothing at all? I must expect to much. Courtesy. Courtesy is too much.
On the bright side, my students sound like they will miss me. Before the final, I was trying one more time to convince a student to at least do a minor in history because he was very engaged and able to grasp the larger concepts of what I was teaching. After he asked what classes I'd be teaching in the fall so he could sign up for one and I said I wouldn't be here, he said, "Oh. Well, never mind. I don't really like history. It's boring, but your class was different. You made it different." He then went on to tell me how he dropped a Western Civ class with the chair because it was so boring. That's not information I wanted. I recommended two other profs and he said he'll think about it. The same thing happened at the end of the final when a student I felt certain hated me all semester asked what classes I'm teaching in the fall and I had to again explain that I'm an adjunct and the school isn't bringing me back because of "enrolment." I managed not to roll my eyes or use air quotes when I said that, too, so I was a little proud of that. She was disappointed, though - genuinely so - because she wanted to take another class with me, she'd enjoyed it so much. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I really thought she hated me. Evidently not.
At least it was a great end to the class, if not to my time at the school itself. And now I promise to be done whining about this school. That's over, too.
I'm sorry to hear you didn't get at least a heartfelt thank you and good wishes.
ReplyDelete(And now I'm thinking that I don't, at the end of an exhausting semester when I really just want to hide under my bed for a week, say good things to our adjuncts, who are wonderful folks.)
At least you got some good feedback from the students... but given all the issues around future teaching hinted at etc., you'd think the chair would be able to send an email to those leaving, wouldn't you?
ReplyDeleteThanks, both of you. The student feedback was amazing! I know that post came off as really whiny, probably more than I meant. I was trying to end on an upbeat note, but the more I overanalyzed, the more upset I became. Of course the end of the semester is the worst time for everyone and we are all super busy/bordering on collapse. Like I said, I probably wouldn't have thought much of it if it was a large department, but adjuncts outnumber full-time faculty here. I didn't think an email from the chair was too much to expect, but maybe I was wrong. One prof made a point of seeking me out to wish me luck and say he enjoyed working with me. That was lovely and unexpected, but very appreciated. It struck me as odd when I realized that the chair, or even the former chair, who happens to be the stepmother to my aunt's goddaughter (who I used to know quite well - if that's not a convoluted connection for you) and so we have this strange connection that has been a running joke the whole year, did not do the same.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me worry that they've been unhappy in some way with my performance this year. I had an excellent teaching observation from the chair, so I'm hoping I'm projecting my own anxieties onto the situation, hence the blog post. It will be good to leave a school that causes this constant anxiety. I suppose that's life as an adjunct, though, and I can only hope I don't have to face that forever.
Yeah, I'm afraid it's pretty normal. And I like to think that at least some faculty members don't say much to departing adjuncts because they're embarrassed, and/or don't really want to think about how reliant their departments are on exploited contingent labor. Also, as Bardiac points out, they may just be exhausted. So I'd definitely not read such reactions as a commentary on your performance unless there's far more concrete reason to do so (with some supervisors, you even have to take criticisms, especially those that come up at a moment when the department isn't treating you very well, with a grain of salt; while they may contain a grain of real concern, they may also, given the timing, be used as distractions, for you, and perhaps for the supervisor hirself).
ReplyDeleteAlso, don't be surprised if you hear from them in August, when they're having trouble creating enough sections of the core courses all those new students have to take. I very much hope you've identified better options by then, and can say "no."