It's goal time!

I'm watching the Steelers game, which, for now, they are winning. It's an end-of-year miracle!






As I've watched them score a couple of touchdowns, it did make me think about hitting my own goals for the year. (Sorry for the very lame tie-in - I'm sure there's a dreadful goalpost pun in there somewhere, but I'm too tired to make one. It took all I had to even realize I should write something about this!)

Of course, this means that I have to have goals and they should probably be more specific than just "finish my blasted dissertation!" That's obviously my main goal, but I do have others, such as finding a job or a post-doc for when I actually am post-doc, and also taking better care of myself, partly by getting back to yoga to help reduce my sky-high stress level. I normally dread making resolutions and don't do it anymore because I rarely succeed in keeping them, but this time I'm going in with a game plan, inspired in part by my previous organization efforts, some twitter friends, and also by this post by The Research Whisperer.

I took a break from all work this past week to refresh and rejuvenate. I wasn't doing any good trying to relax and still do a few hours of work a day all at the same time. Someone on a productivity chat on twitter reminded me that sometimes giving yourself time off completely actually means more for your productivity in the end. So, I ignored that little voice in my head screaming at me to put down Pride and Prejudice and read something for my dissertation. I persevered in my forced relaxation (sounds silly, doesn't it?) and did not get back to work and you know what? I feel SO much better! I'm actually ready to get back to work.

Today I broke out my giant dry-erase 4-month calendar and started setting startlines and deadlines for chapters and revisions. I love the planning stages of a project or regrouping for a project. Calendars are fun! Lists are amazing! Next step is gathering all those deadlines for fellowships. I'm even using Evernote to keep things moving along in an orderly manner, but more on that later.

All of this is all going to help with my biggest goal (aside from the dissertation, that is), the one that seems the most unattainable, which is to give myself one day off a week -  one full day with no work, no email, no facebook, and no twitter, which is somewhat ironic, since the same productivity chat on twitter reminded me of this Profhacker post on giving yourself a day of rest each week. My day of rest might not have the religious connotations that most of those contributors mention, but it does tie into my taking better care of myself/reducing my stress level goal, too. I want the glory of a day devoted strictly to me...and probably my dog. He's hard to resist.

Now that I think about it, pretty much all of my goals are all wrapped up together. Finishing my dissertation, finding a job or post-doc, taking better care of myself all tie into and result from each other. I will be so much better off mentally when the diss is done; ditto if I find a post-doc or (please, please, please) a job; and taking care of myself will help finish the diss and hunt for a job or post-doc. I do like nice, tidy loops like that.

But, back to the Steelers - they won! I'm hoping this bodes well for my goals for 2013!

The agony of adjuncting

My classes for next semester got cut. Instead of teaching four classes, I will now be teaching one class. One. Class. My already extremely low wages just got reduced by 75%.

It took a full day for exactly what this means to sink in for me. The immediate financial repercussions were obvious, but then it hit me that I also wouldn't be able to go to two big conferences this summer or DHSI (despite the scholarship that would pay for tuition). I was also supposed to go to Sicily with my school for a travel trip because next year they 1) want me to still be there and 2) want me take the travel class to Scotland and teach or co-teach the travel class.

These are big disappointments, but the worst - the heartbreaking part - is that I can't afford to go to my best friend's wedding in March. It's in the Bahamas. The airfare, the resort, and the dress are not actually that expensive, but will still cost more than half of what I'll make for the semester. We've been friends for 30 years. We grew up next door to each other. She is the closest thing I have to a sister. I'm the maid of honor. And I don't have a choice but to back out of the wedding.

Overwhelmed by options

I was inspired by a recent gradhacker post to use this break between semesters to reorganize my work space, including my computer. My files are a disaster somehow. I have a million folders, but files never seem to be where I expect them to be on my computer.

I need a better workflow. I have all these tools - like Dropbox, Evernote, Devonthink, Orchestra, Zotero, Wunderlist, and I'm sure there are more that I'm forgetting - but, for some reason, I can't seem to incorporate them into my daily workflow. I spent the weekend rewriting a book review because I couldn't find the final draft. I lost so much time because of this and I am furious. If I'm going to finish my dissertation this year (and I am), I need to do something (well, probably lots of somethings) to increase my productivity and efficiency.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by all this technology, though, which, as a digital humanist and even just as a human being, is not a good thing. I'm at the point where technology might be hindering rather than helping. I think I need to spend a few hours going through all my tools and focusing on learning them better and learning how to incorporate them into my everyday use, too. Everyone goes on and on about how great Evernote is, but I just don't see it. What am I missing? I feel like it does the same thing as all the other things I have and don't use. It must be me. I need to play around more and familiarize myself with the programs I don't use as much. Maybe I'll use them more or I can get rid of duplicates. Either way, streamlining will help. That's my goal for this week. Streamline, streamline, streamline.

Is hating your students a normal thing?

The other day the Chronicle of Higher Education posted a somewhat disturbing advice piece that you can read here if you want.

Now, I have several problems with this article, especially the patronizing advice to wear a jacket if you're a small woman (I really don't like jackets, nor do I think they automatically command more respect, although I know some people will disagree vehemently with that) and to tell students that they are adults. That I find to be the worst, partly because I don't think it's my responsibility to remind students they are adults, but also because I don't want to sound like some little old lady lecturing the youngsters about how irresponsible they are.

That being said, I have had a hard time at my new school trying to get students to do things that seem like a no-brainer, like checking their syllabus to find out the assigned reading rather than emailing me or asking me in class all the time. I have never had to do so much hand-holding in my life and it was really wearing on me by the end of the semester. I started the semester by not reminding them of the readings or scheduled quizzes or tests because I really didn't think it was necessary. Who doesn't check the syllabus? They would freak out when I reminded the day before a quiz, as if they had no idea that they were supposed to pay attention to these things.

By the last two weeks of class, when they were asking me when our final was scheduled for (after I'd told them every day for a week because I felt like I had to just to drill it into their heads), I wanted to stand at the front of the classroom and scream at them that they could look it up on the school's website just like I did and to stop depending on me to tell them about all the things. Take responsibility! Do it yourselves! Stop expecting to be spoon-fed! I felt like my head was spinning around like what's her face in The Exorcist.

Yes, I was very stressed. A semester's worth of beating my head against the wall to get them to do things for themselves will do that to you. Part of this, of course, was absolutely my fault. I set a policy about late assignments, but began to let that slide because so many students weren't turning anything in at all. This snowballed throughout the semester so much so that by the end, I was overwhelmed with grading and feeling very resentful that they were taking advantage of me. But, I let them and next semester I won't.

Still, hate my students? Even at the height of my frustration and resentment, I didn't hate them. I wanted to help them. That's what got me into this mess in the first place. If a student was willing to come to class and at least seem like they were making an effort, I felt like I had to go above and beyond for them to help them pass my class, particularly with those students whose backgrounds clearly did not prepare them for college. In some cases, I probably put in just as much effort as they did.

Did this help them? I don't know. Maybe some of them were helped. Some weren't. Was it worth it? This I'm not sure of, either. I think I need to stick to firmer policies and help them that way, too. I hope it helps teach them some measure of responsibility, as well as help me keep my sanity. Imagine being sane at the end of the semester. That would be lovely!

Winter writing

It occurred to me that I'm co-hosting a writing group that starts in January and I didn't necessarily want to do that on my old blog, which is sometimes too inappropriate personal. So, here we go. New blog for the new year, I guess. For those of you who want to join the writing group, stay tuned. I'll post more info closer to the start date.